it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
