the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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