so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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