If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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