she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Everclear isn't food dammit
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
