yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
