dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
