I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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