I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
