You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Two words: blizzard sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
