No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
