On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
