After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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