i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
