I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
