Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
