My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
