If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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