Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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