he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
