when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
