Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
