you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
