It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
