After last night, I could never be a politician.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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