everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
