big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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