so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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