Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
