If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
