If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
