We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude. I can hear the air.
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