I must be too annoying 4 u.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
