The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
