If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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