awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize