Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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