i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
