Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
