what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
