that's an acceptable place to lick
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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