I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
