to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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