Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
