Your favorite bartender is back from prision
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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