You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
