I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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