I have demons in me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
