Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
