we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
