dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
