You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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