so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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