sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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