Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You're like the curious george of whores
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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