Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
