found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
