My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
