You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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