We got so high we made milksteak
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
