Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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